The Reason
by temporaryinsanity91
Summary: Edward Cullen, I hereby sentence you to 900 hours of Community service. You have one year to complete your hours. If you find yourself in court again, your next stop will be the state penitentiary. Court is adjourned."
1. I'm Not a Perfect Person

_**Prologue**_**  
I'm Not A Perfect Person**

She was standing at the back corner of her truck, pondering the snow chains her father had put on her wheels, fighting back the sudden waves of emotion they had brought on, when she heard an odd sound.

It was a high-pitched screech, and it was fast becoming painfully loud. She looked up startled. She saw several things simultaneously. Nothing was moving in slow motion, like it did in the movies. Instead, the adrenaline rush seemed to make her brain work much faster, and she was able to absorb several things at once.

The young man four cars down, staring in a horrified expression. The crowds of students, staring at her with the same mask of horror. But of more immediate importance was the dark blue van that was skidding, tires locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly across the ice on the parking lot. Right toward her. It was going to hit the back corner of her truck, and she was standing between them. Her strangled scream caught in her throat. She didn't have time to close her eyes before the shattering crunch of the van folding on her truck filled her ears and pain shot through her body before blackness took over.

****

"Edward Cullen, I hereby sentence you to 900 hours of community service. You have one year to complete your hours. If you find yourself in the defendant's chair again, your next stop will be the state penitentiary. Court is adjourned."


	2. Start Over New

**Start Over New**

"Dad, can't I just not and say I did?"

"No. You are Lucky the courts let you transfer your sentence out here from Alaska. You have a parole officer here that will be monitoring you. Now this is what you will do…"

He let his father's voice trail off as they went in the Elevator up to level eight of Forks Hospital. He honestly wished he'd not done what he did, just so he didn't have to be there in that moment. Apparently, strike two of prank-calling the cops was prison without the actual jail. He was always doing stupid things; prank calls, vandalizing, doing things to the teachers… he was the classic bad boy. Well Denali, Alaska had enough. Since Dr. Cullen was highly respected, when he'd gotten the opportunity here, the court told him to make his son do community service with him.

He groaned. "Dad, the coma ward? You're going to make me do my service hours in the _coma ward_?! Dad, I didn't steal the president's car! I just…"

"I won't tolerate you complaining. You brought this upon yourself. Now these are the patients you will be working with."

They went into room after room of car accident, overdose, and other serious injury patients that were currently in a coma.

In the last room, a beautiful, brown haired girl lay, blissfully unconscious. Shock bubbled inside of him. She was _beautiful_. Even as she lay there, broken ad probably without chance of repair, she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid eyes on. "Who is she?" he couldn't help but ask.

"She's probably the saddest case on this floor. Her name is Isabella Swan. The police chief's daughter. She recently moved here, only shortly before the accident. Her first day of school, Bella was standing outside of her vehicle when another car lost control and slammed into her. It literally crushed her. The other driver, Tyler Crowley, was killed."

Edward was stunned. "Oh God," he whispered painfully, inching over to the bed where the girl lay, broken and bruised with tubes, needles, and wires protruding from every inch of her visible, mangled skin.

"Son, are you alright?"

He hadn't noticed the tears that welled up in his eyes. He attempted to toughen back up. "Yeah," he said, but his voice broke over the word.

"Edward," Carlisle said as gently as he could, "We have to move on, son. There are some things that we still have to go over."

Edward nodded, turning back to the still form on the bed. He reached out and brushed some matted, silky strands from her porcelain face. "I'll see you around, Bella," he whispered.


	3. And So I Have to Say Before I Go

**And So I Have To Say Before I Go**

"Dad?"

"Come in, Edward."

"Um… I've been here all day, dad."

"You're hours don't end until four," he stated, unnecessarily wary.

"I know, I wasn't going to complain." He stepped into his father's office and sat down. "I just… does anyone ever come to visit her? It's Sunday. Doesn't anyone care? I thought you said she has family here. I've been working for five weeks!"

Carlisle sighed. He didn't know what caused his youngest son to be drawn to _that_ girl. He was afraid for his son's mangled heart; he knew that medically, the chances of Bella's recovery were very slim. What would happen if she died? He just hoped with all of his compassionate heart that things would work out. One thing was for sure, he was staying at the hospital later and later to be with her, and it was keeping him out of trouble. That was good, right?

"Dad?"

"Her father… he hurts too much to come see her. She's his only child, you know."

"Oh. I'm… I'm sorry."

"Look, I'm going to have to warn you. Bella's been in a coma for months; the chances of her recovering… they don't look good, Edward."

Edward was shaking his head before he was done. "Maybe that's because no one gives a shit that she's laying there in a fucking hospital bed by herself the whole fucking day!" Edward stood up. "I'm clocking out at seven today; don't expect me for dinner."

"Edward--"

The walls shook and vibrated as the door slammed shut.

****

"Heya Bella," he whispered. "I'm uh… I am sorry I ran out on you that way. I just… needed to talk to my dad."

Silence.

"I'm worried that you get lonely here, all by yourself. I bet you don't like it very much. I know I don't."

The machines beeped and whirred at a steady rhythm.

"I brought flowers. Just yellow daisies. It sure does get dreary around here. I have to clock out in a few hours, so I'll have to run out again for a little bit. I'll have dinner and come back. I won't leave you, Bella. I'm so sorry that everyone else has."

More silence.

"You're such a pretty girl. I wish I could know you better."

The machines continued to accent the deafening quiet in the room.

"Okay, I have to admit, I probably look like a crazy person, talking to someone who doesn't talk back. But I don't care; since I won't get to know you until you wake up, I guess you'll have to know about me." He sat down in his usual chair, pulling it up close to her bed and taking her fragile hand in his. "I'm turning eighteen in two weeks, my favorite pastime is to write music. That is, when I wasn't causing some sort of trouble back home in Alaska. Yes, I did live in Alaska. It's beautiful, but it's very dreary some times. The seasons pass differently up there." He continued to tell her about himself for hours, until he came up with an idea.

"I know! I'll write you a song and record it, so you can have it when I'm not here. That way, when I'm busy working or at school, you won't feel so ! And it will be titled, 'Bella's Lullaby' and maybe I can even make it famous, like 'Moonlight Sonata' or 'Claire de Lune' or… I think I'll go work on it now; it's going on eight o'clock anyway and I'll get thrown out after visiting hours.. I will see you tomorrow after school, Bella. Rest well."


	4. There's Many Things I Wish I Didn't Do

**There's Many Things I Wish I Didn't Do**

"Hello Chief Swan."

"Mr. Cullen? What can I do for you?"

"I uh… wanted to talk to you."

"Come in, son. What have you done this time, huh?"

Edward glared, his infamous temper flaring. "With all due respect, sir, the only thing I've done is take care of your unconscious daughter which you don't even have the courtesy to visit!" and he stormed away, slamming the door behind him.

Charlie stared for a moment before taking off after him. "Wait!"

"Leave me the hell alone."

"Wait, please…"

It was the way his voice cracked sharply over the word that forced him to turn around. "What?"

"Is she… is she doing okay?"

"She's not improved, but she's not worsened. She's the same. Not like you give a shit. Or anyone else for that matter."

"How dare you judge me?!"

"How dare you judge me?! Ever since I got here, everyone has been expecting me to screw up! Well guess what, I won't screw up. I can't you know why? Because aside from the nurses I'm the only one that ever goes in Bella's room! If I go, she will have no one. Not even you."

Charlie stood back, stunned by the serious anger the younger man had.

Edward kept going. "Did you ever think that she might actually know that you don't visit her? Just yesterday I mentioned you and her heart rate went through the roof! What if she thinks you don't care?"

He sighed. "I do care, Edward. So much. You don't know what it's like… I hope you never know what it's like… to see your only daughter lifeless on the pavement… being crushed by a vehicle… blood pouring from her mouth, her ears, her nose… unable to breathe… I can't see her that way. I'll die." And for the first time since His wife left him seventeen years before, Charlie cried.

****

"Hey there, Angel Face," Edward said cheerfully as he strolled into Bella's room, chewing mushroom ravioli. "I'm on my lunch break. I thought I'd come and check on you." he set down his food and went over to her bed, gently stroking her cheek. "You doing alright? The nurses said you might have been a bit agitated before. Are you in pain? I wish you could tell me." The thought depressed him a little, but he brightened back up. "Soon enough, okay? I can't wait to see your eyes and hear your voice. I'll be back at four." He picked up his food and headed for the door. He paused. "Oh, and Bella? Chief Swan says he loves you very much. He can't wait to see your eyes and hear your voice either." He sighed. "Do you know something? I think… I think I love you too."

He was gone before the beeping that marked the time of the beating her heart accelerated.


	5. I Found Reason For Me

**I Found A Reason For Me**

"Thank you, Chief Swan. You um… you really don't have to…"

"Look, I don't know what has you obsessed with my daughter, but you've been taking good care of her when I haven't been stepping up to the plate. Being extremely grateful and actually liking you are two separate and unequal things."

Edward actually blushed, staring at his shuffling feet. "I know, sir, I just… I want to get to know her."

Charlie sighed. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"Bella has lived in Phoenix with her mother all her life. She loves the sun, the beach… volleyball… but she's very clumsy, so she has never learned to play. But she loves to watch it, especially the Olympics. Um… she inherited her mother's violent dislike for Forks and other rainy, cold places. She only moved here because she didn't want to be moving around with her mother's new husband. Renee decided to stay with her, but was unhappy. So Bella decided to get to know her old man a little bit better. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Edward nodded at that. She certainly was beautiful.

"She's very selfless, and it's in her nature to worry a lot. Her clumsiness has kind of lowered her self-preservation instincts; She broke her wrist and a leg on a tumble down the stairs last spring. She didn't even grimace when they were setting them."

"Sounds like she's strong."

"She's a fighter. But all her life, she's sort of been a loner. She doesn't let people in. I suppose that's my fault. Renee ran with her when she was a baby, and after the courts gave me visiting rights… very, very limited visiting rights, I never had time to visit Phoenix."

Edward got angry again. "When how the hell is that your fault?! Stupid courts always screw everything up!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"They put me in foster homes after my parents abandoned me. The people were always horrible and never cared about me. I tried to tell them so many times, and they didn't do anything. They always get it all wrong! It's like they try purposely to keep kids from having happy families. If it weren't for the fact that Esme and Carlisle adopted me, I would have had to go back to Victoria…"

"I'm sorry, Edward."

"And now they keep you away from your own kid and expect her to get along just fine?! What the hell is this?! And suddenly it's your fault she's screwed up? It's not! It's their fault! It's always their fault."

Charlie stood, tentatively putting a hand on Edward's shoulder. "I understand that you're angry and hurt by what you've been through. Feeling rejected and unloved is… well, there's nothing like it."

Edward stopped his angry rant and stared up at him, tears in his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I can't pretend to know what it's like to have parents leave you behind. But I do know what it's like to feel rejected. I loved Renee more than anything. Still do. I also have to say, though… being on the parents side of it, did you ever think that they didn't have a choice? Just like I didn't have a choice in leaving Bella, did you ever think that they did what they thought would be best for you?"

Edward pondered that for a long time. "I… never thought of it that way. I just, it sure as hell didn't turn out to be the best for me. I'm a screw up. I'm a bad boy, a delinquent, a heartbreaker. It's all I've known to be, because it's the only way I've known to survive. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having to go to court so they can screw up my life more, I'm tired of my friends telling me to do bad things. I'm tired of doing them because I don't want them to leave me like my parents did. I'm tired of it, Chief Swan. Sometimes I wish I was never born."

"I don't. You've done a world of good for my Bella. Have you ever thought that maybe instead of a heartbreaker, you can be a life saver?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you. All five flavors."

Edward laughed weakly at the horrible joke.

"Did you think that instead of being a bad boy, you could be a gentleman? That instead of acting, dressing, talking like a delinquent, you could speak kindly and dress well and be good to those around you? because the truth is, no one likes delinquents, bad boys, cruel people. However, you can earn the love, trust, and respect of those around you by being loving, trustworthy, and respectful."

Edward stared at him. "But… what if they use me?"

"You have to find it in you to be kind even to the ones that use you."

"But…"

"Believe me, it feels good to let go of the hurt people cause you. Start by forgiving your parents."

"I… but they left me!"

"Yes, but look at you. you're handsome, talented, and intelligent. They did something right. They did something wrong, but they did something right."

The arrogant side of him controlled him for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I am pretty cool, huh?"

"You are. But don't let it go to your head. You are the way you are so you can share your gifts and talents with others."

"Oh! Speaking of which, I just finished writing my song for Bella. It's called 'Bella's Lullaby' and it's so that she doesn't feel lonely while I'm away."

"That's… very kind of you, Edward. You see, you do have it in you to be kind."

Edward looked up at him in astonishment.

"Edward, I'm counting on you to pull my little girl through this."

"Does that mean you like me now?"

Charlie cracked a smile. "I'm uh, I'm warming up to you."

"Good. Because that kind of bring me to the next topic… I know she's not really… all there… but…"

"But?" Charlie prompted warily when he stopped.

"I just, I feel very drawn to her and…"

"And?"

"I want your permission to be her boyfriend when she wakes up," he blurted, feeling foolish.

Charlie actually laughed. "Wow. Well, I don't like you that much yet. Why don't we wait until she wakes up and you can ask her yourself?"

"Okay," Edward mumbled, shoulders slightly slumping.

"I have something for you. you um… said you wanted to know her, so follow me."

Edward, getting whiplash from all of Charlie's feelings toward him, followed him up the stairs dazedly.

"This is Bella's room."

He took in the surroundings. The bed had a purple quilt on it that looked warm and inviting. The walls were just a pale, ordinary color. Her desk was littered with books. He wandered over to it, his eyes growing wide.

"Dartmouth?! When was she accepted?"

"Two days before she moved."

"Wow. Let's uh, Let's see what she's reading here. _Pride and Prejudice. Wuthering Heights. The Idiot?_ That's got to be interesting. _Romeo and Juliet_._ Antony and Cleopatra._ For someone who has trust issues, she sure is a hopeless romantic. _The Odyssey. The Iliad. Beowulf._ Whoa, she's really into classic literature."

"Yeah, she's um… always got her nose in a book. If she'd pay attention to where she were going instead, she'd cut her accident rate in half."

Edward laughed. "Silly Bella," he mumbled, looking through more books. Then he came upon something. "Her diary?"

"I've read it, when I miss her too much. You're um… well, she'll probably kill us both, but you can read it too, if you want."

"Um… no. but, I will snag some of these books. She might like being read to." He stared at the journal for a long time, the gold inscription in the bonded leather calling to him: _Bella Swan's Diary._ "On second thought, I'll take it."

****

He wound up snagging her iPod too, just to see what was in her playlists. He was surprised to find _Claire de Lune_ on it. He found also some of the more popular classical pieces: the _1812 Overture, Moonlight Sonata _(of course), _Canon in D, Bach's Toccata in D Minor_, other pieces. He also found she was into oldies: the Five Satins, The Beach Boys, The Beetles, as well as some fifties and forties jazz. He found only one song from the eighties: _Thriller_, by Michael Jackson. He agreed with her there; forties and fifties were the best era for music. Skip the sixties, although he could do without the seventies too. He found something that made him sad: _Boulevard of Broken Dreams_, by Green day. He hoped she didn't feel that way. Some other punk rock, some pop rock… one rap song, by Fort Minor. To him, they were the only rap group worth listening to as well.

He was reading her diary when his sister bounced into his room. "Hi Edward."

"It's called knocking, Alice. You should try it."

"Sorry." She brightened. "Whatcha doin?"

"I'm learning about Bella."

"And how are you doing that?"

"Chief Swan let me have some of her books and her iPod, as well as her diary."

"What?"

"No, Alice. You can't read her diary."

"Please?"

"No, Alice. This is private. I'm invading her personal bubble as it is without letting you read it too. Go away."

She pouted.

"No, Alice."

"Oh fine."

"If you really want… I know you're a fashion fanatic, so I was wondering if you'd help me change my look a bit?"

"You mean you're going to stop dressing like a gothic hobo and let me dress you?"

"Oh God, Alice. Please don't make me change my mind about this. I'm begging you."

Alice squealed. "Oh Edward, there's so many things we have to do! First, I'll get Rose to do your hair. She's good at haircuts."

"No way! No one's fucking with my hair! I like it long."

"Don't worry, she'll just give you a trim."

"She better."

"Oh, and we have to go shopping. God, I've been dying to burn your horrible wardrobe for so long. Come on, we can go now!"

As Edward let himself get dragged out the door, he wondered if he was on his way to something better, or if this would even make a difference.


	6. To Change Who I Used to Be

**To Change Who I Used to Be**

He wasn't allowed to look at himself in the mirror until his transformation was complete. It was like something out of those makeover shows on TLC he hated so much, the ones Alice watched religiously. When he was finally done, he emerged from his room in a white and green striped polo shirt, different from the cut-offs he used to wear; the black thick leather bracelet with spikes was replaced by a Movado watch. His ripped jeans were replaced by decently fitting, un-ripped ones. His hair, once tangled and out of control, was now gelled into perfectly manipulated unruliness. It shone like it was made of metals: bronze strands with flecks of copper that made his green eyes stand out.

He stepped into Alice's room, a frown on his face. "Can I see my haircut now?"

"Of course! Oh my gosh, you look so hot! Love that color, on you. See, I knew you had it in you to dress with style! You look hot!!"

"I do?" He was bewildered.

"As in, if I weren't with Jasper and you weren't my brother, I'd eat you alive hot."

He winced. "What an image."

"Sorry. Come over here, look at yourself in the full-length one." She dragged him off to her closet door, which had a full length mirror on the inside.

He hardly recognized himself. "Alice… what the hell did you do?"

"You don't like it?" She pouted.

"I… love it… whoa, I don't even look like me."

"That's okay. I'm liking this 'new you' thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You know, you might be adopted, but you're still my brother and I still missed you."

He sighed, moving to sit on the edge of her bed. "I'm sorry, Alice. I'm sorry I've failed you and your family."

"Our family," she corrected, "And you're already forgiven. Emmett didn't get to see this side of you, but he'll be happy to hang out with you when he comes back to see Rose." She referred to their cousin who had gone to college in California before Edward's most recent brush with the law. "You know, everyone's been waiting for you to see yourself for who you truly are. I wish it didn't take a girl on her deathbed to change you."

Edward sprung off the bed in hurt surprise. "She's not gonna die! She can't die!"

"Relax, Edward."

"Why would you say that?!"

"I'm sorry! Gosh, I didn't think you were that attached to her."

He sat down again, now confused an upset. "Do you think it's crazy to fall in love with someone who is in a coma?"

"Quite frankly, yeah. But they say we can't help who we fall in love with. So what have you learned about your Bella since you started prying in her personal business?"

He brightened. "She got accepted to Dartmouth! Also, Princeton and Yale. Columbia. Harvard too. How amazing is that? She's purely an Ivy League girl. She likes oldies music, specifically forties, fifties, and seventies. And she likes some classical too, like me. She really likes literature. I've read some of the books on her desk, but I don't understand some of them. Like _Wuthering Heights_. I mean, I knew there was such thing as a love/hate relationship, but holy shit! _Pride and Prejudice_… she likes that one a lot. I'm reading _A Tale of Two Cities_ to her. She actually gets excited when I'm reading it, her heart rate changes. It's such a good book. I just finished _The Idiot_ while Rose was doing my hair. That's interesting. I learned a lot about Russia and about redemption in that book."

"The Idiot? What the hell is that?"

"That's what I said. But it's about this guy, and everyone thinks he's stupid and naïve and trusting but in the end, he gets the girl and, yeah, that's it. There's more, the plot's way more complicated and I realized that Chief Swan was right; the tough guy doesn't always win, it's the sincere one that does his best help others."

"Wow." It was all she could manage to get out of her mouth. Partly because she was stunned, and partly because Edward cut her off.

"Then she had some of my favorites, Count of Monte Cristo, Three Musketeers, The Man in the Iron Mask, all by Dumas. There's more too. But in her diary I found out that in a sense, she's just like me. See, her mom is a little bit scatter-brained. She'd been handling the house's finances since she was eleven. Her mom never paid the bills or anything. She was the mom in the house, and her mother was the kid. Chief Swan said that she spent a lot of time worrying about her mom. And about everyone and everything else. The few friends she did have back home she spent her time taking care of. She's the most selfless person I've ever non-met."

Alice laughed.

"But see, in a sense, she's been alone for so long. Since her mom had custody of her, she couldn't just up and leave. Plus I have the feeling she'd rather subject herself to the torture and make sure her mom was okay. She couldn't depend on anyone for pretty much all her life. She's like me. I'm sure she feels that way, anyway."

"How do you feel?"

"I felt alone a lot. And then I felt like, the more trouble I got myself in, the less people, especially you all, wanted me around… but I just didn't know how to stop. It made me safe, in a way."

"I get it. Being angry and lashing out was easier than admitting to being hurt and needing help."

"I guess, yeah. I'm really sorry. If, uh… if it makes you feel better, I missed you too. I'm glad you're my sister."

"Aww, Edward!" She launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck.

He laughed as he caught her, holding his sister close and savoring the moment. "Alice?"

"Yeah."

"Would you like to see Bella?"

****

"This is Bella."

Alice gasped.

"Bella," Edward whispered, gently brushing her cheek in his signature gesture of affection, "This is Alice. She's my sister."

Alice just stood there.

_For once in her life, Alice has nothing to say. Start the presses,_ thought Edward dryly.

"She can hear you, you know. You can talk to her."

She swallowed hard. "Hi, Bella. I'm Alice. I, uh… it's nice to meet you. or as Edward says, it's nice to non-meet you." Edward chuckled and slipped out of the room after kissing Bella, then Alice's foreheads.

Alice slid into a chair. "Bella… I don't know how you managed to completely change my brother, but I know that if you don't wake up soon, it will crush him. Please, Bella. You're the only person who has had this much effect on him. He's felt so alone… please, Bella, wake up soon…" And Alice, chirpy, happy, bubbly, enthusiastic in the new extreme Alice began to cry.

A moment later, Edward came back in. "Don't cry, Alice," He said, wrapping his arms around her. "Please don't cry. I hate it when you're sad, you know. Besides, Bella gets upset when she hears people cry."

"I'm sorry, I just… what happened to her?"

"Um, dad said that her first day of school here, she was standing in front of her car looking at something when another car came and hit her, crushing her between the two cars."

Alice just gasped again.

"What a crappy first day, huh, Angel Face?" He removed an arm from around Alice to touch Bella's face again.

"Did you just call her 'Angel Face'?"

"I did. What of it?" Edward retorted, rather cockily.

"You really love her, don't you?"

"Yeah. I really do."

They noticed how the beeping accelerated. Her breathing started coming short, and alarms were going off.

"Alice! Alice get dad! Bella! Bella, baby, it's okay. It's okay, love, you're going to be just fine…"


	7. That's Why I Need You to Hear

**That's Why I Need You to Hear**

It was good news and better news. The good news was that she was responding to stimuli in her legs and hands, which was something she didn't do before; he knew, it was part of his job there to know. The better news was that was that she could now breathe on her own.

The bad news was that his dad told him she was probably in extreme pain.

But, now that she was doing better, he'd taken to picking her up and sitting with her by the window in the reclining leather chair. His father always warned him to be careful with her extremely delicate spine and hip bones. He felt better now that he could feel the soft thump of her pulse rather than rely on the beeping of the machine. Her breath on his neck was the best sensation he'd ever felt. He often stayed the night with her that way. It was the best sleep he'd ever gotten.

Today he opened his eyes to find two chocolate pools looking up at him intently. "Who are you?" She asked, her voice raspy from lack of use.

"Hi Bella," he whispered, excitement bubbling up in him and breaking with a grin on his face. "I'm Edward."

"You?" She stared incredulously.

"Yes Bella. I'm Edward."

"The Edward from my dreams? But that's impossible! I was dreaming. I dreamed that Edward said he loved me, and that my Charlie misses me and… I dreamt of his sister Alice. I dreamt he was reading Charles Dickens to me. I dreamt that you--"

He chuckled. "All of that was real, Bella."

"And the song that was always playing in my mind?"

"Right there in the CD player in the corner." He had finally gotten around to recording the song for Bella several weeks before and played it for her on replay while he was gone.

"Oh…" she breathed, staring at him in wonder. "You love me?"

"I do," he smiled. "I'm so happy you're awake, Angel Face."

She grinned. "I like it when you call me that."

"I like to call you that," he retorted.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella." _Oh God, say my name again, Bella._

It was like she'd heard him. "Edward… can I see my dad now?"

"Of course, Angel Face."

She blushed a little.

"What?"

"Nothing… I just, why me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm here… all screwed up, I can't walk, I hurt to move… why me?"

"I'm here too, Angel Face. I'm all screwed up. Maybe I can walk, but inside I've been crippled my whole life. I hurt to move on from what I've been through. So I didn't suffer a horrible accident, but I have my traumas too. That makes me no one to judge you. that only makes me want to help you as much if not more than you've helped me."

"I _helped_ you?"

"More than you'll ever know."

"Is that why you love me?"

"Yes and no."

"What do you mean?" Her eyes were so wide and innocent in that moment, he just wanted to crush her to his chest and protect her and never let go.

"You saved me. In a twisted way, I guess, you were there to listen to me rant and complain and… and talk my problems out. I guess you didn't have a choice in listening to me. But I appreciate it just the same."

"I liked listening to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. All I ever heard was the nurses talking about things I didn't understand. And then your dad and you came in and… it was so different. Your voice is beautiful. I could listen to you all day."

It was his turn to blush. He changed the subject. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? In pain? Shall I get your father now?"

"Uh, no, yes, no, and yes."

"Okay. I'll be back in a minute." He set her down on her bed again and headed out.


	8. Be the One Who Catches All Your Tears

**A/N: i am so happy with all the reviews right now, i decided to post the next chappie now i'm so glad you all responded so positively! i totally love you more than you can know. cookies and cupcakes for all reviewers! **

**be warned, this one might be a bit of a bubble-popper. i actually cried writing it. anyhoo, without further ado( hey that sorta rhymed, lol)...**

**cheers!  
temporary insanity**

* * *

**Be The One Who Catches All Your Tears**

He knocked anxiously on the door of Chief Swan's home. Over and over again he knocked. He was so excited he was bouncing around like someone doing the pee-pee dance.

"Can you stop knocking already, I'm coming—Edward? What's going on?! Is everything--?"

"You won't believe it, Chief Swan! She's awake! I woke up this morning and there she was, staring at me with the most beautiful, innocent and confused expression. She wants to see you Chief Swan! She remembers you. She remembers everything and she remembers the things I talked to her about when she was unconscious. She says it all felt like a dream. Her physical therapist says that we can work together and she'll be walking again soon! Oh, Chief Swan, you have to see her!" he sounded like a four year old describing a fireworks display or the Air Force Thunderbirds. Or a meteor shower. Or Armageddon. Or a volcano eruption. Or a tornado. Or Disney World. something equally life altering and amazing.

Charlie stared at him blankly. "W-what?"

"Oh Come on, don't act like you haven't been waiting for this since the moment you knew about the accident. _Let's go,_ Chief Swan, she wants to see you."

"Oh?"

"Well what my Bella wants, my Bella gets. Now _let's go_."

"She's okay?"

"Yes, she's going to be perfect. But she'll be even better if you'll hurry up and get your jacket. Let's go!"

"Okay, okay." Charlie let himself get dragged out to Edward's car, a silver Volvo and shoved into the passenger's seat. "Should I be afraid?"

"Of me driving? Not at all." And he peeled out of the driveway.

****

Despite Edward's maniacal driving, they managed to make it safe and sound. They hustled upstairs where they found Bella sleeping peacefully.

It brought tears to Charlie's eyes as Edward reached out and brushed her cheek. "Angel Face?"

"Ewar…"

"Heya Bella. There's someone here to see you."

"Who?"

Charlie saw that as his cue. "Hi baby."

"Charlie? Dad…" She started to cry when he did.

Edward quietly slipped out of the room, deciding to head to the cafeteria and get them all some food. When he came back fifteen minutes later, he found father and daughter deep in conversation.

"Ahem."

Bella's face brightened dramatically. "Edward! Hi. I was just telling Daddy about the story you were reading me."

"Would you like me to keep reading to you? There are only ten chapters left."

She nodded excitedly. He chuckled at this as he leaned down to kiss her forehead again. "Your father says that if you didn't have your nose constantly in a book, you'd cut your accident rate in half."

She laughed. "He's probably right. But… that's a risk I'm willing to take. Besides," she added sourly, "I don't think that's much of an issue right now."

"Don't be upset, Bella."

"I'm not… I just… okay, maybe a little. It just seems like my every attempt to start fresh always gets screwed up."

_You have no idea,_ thought Edward painfully.

"But I guess you've been there too, I guess. Being given an opportunity to get it right and then something going wrong."

"Are you saying it's only a matter of time?"

She shook her head. "Not like what you're thinking. I know you've made an effort to change. But maybe it will be something out of our control. Or maybe you'll screw up, but on accident. It happens more than people like to think, you know."

"Yeah. It's called Murphy's Law."

"Yeah. Who'd a thought that my first day of school I'd be the meat in a van-truck sandwich?"

"Who'd a thunk it?" muttered Charlie sarcastically.

"What?"

"Nothing I just… don't see how you can talk about this so lightly."

Bella shrugged, wincing at the motion. "Why cry when you can laugh?"

"Why laugh when you want to cry?"

"You tell me, Edward. Why laugh when you want to cry?"

Edward sat, taken aback. "Maybe Laughing is easier. Maybe laughing helps you contain and control the pain."

"Well maybe crying is the only way to let go."

"Have you cried lately, Edward?"

"Have you?"

They sat silently, staring at each other for the longest time.

A single, fat tear rolled down Bella's cheek and clung to her chin.

A single, fat tear fell on Edward's hand, splashing dramatically.

A single, fat tear mirrored the many that the heart of this father had cried over the loss that he had suffered, the loss his daughter had suffered, and the loss of this hurting young man who saved her life.

A single, fat tear rolled down Edward's face when he opened his eyes and awakened to the sound of the steady, beeping rhythm of his love's unconscious heart.


	9. You

**You**

He sat by himself for lunch again at school. He didn't mind it so much today. He needed time alone to sort out his dream. Her voice. Her voice had been so clear in that dream. Her attitude was just like he'd deducted that it would be from her diary. Her eyes, those pools of molten chocolate he could dive into and never come out of. Her soft skin…

He sighed. He wished it were real. More than anything he wished it were real.

"Hi."

He looked up to see a petite girl with brown eyes and curly light brown hair sit down across from him. "Hello," he said politely.

"I'm Angela. You're new here?"

He thought about it. "I guess so. I mean, I've been around for a while, but well…"

"I understand. What's your name?"

"Edward. Edward Cullen."

"Oh, You're the Cullens' son."

"That's me."

"Why are you by yourself?"

'Well… I don't know. I guess I haven't bothered to make the acquaintance with anyone." _Nor anyone with me._

"Oh. Well later on, Jessica will come, so will Eric. And well… Tyler used to sit with us too…" her eyes grew sad. "Lauren Mallory sits with us. She used to sit because she liked him, but now…"

He understood. "I know. I understand."

"I heard that Chief Swan's daughter isn't going to wake up."

His teeth clenched. "She will."

She gasped. "I, uh… didn't know you knew her," she stuttered, mumbling an apology.

"I don't. I do community service for my dad. He's her doctor. I've been taking the time to visit her. No one else does."

"Community service? Why?"

"'Cause he's a bad boy," mocked Mike as he sat down next to him.

"Newton," he greeted grimly.

"What it is, Cullen? How's your work going? I hear that you get paid with a lot of bed-cleaning to do."

"Excuse me?"

"What? Don't act like you haven't had to clean unconscious people shit before, Cullen. It's all you'll ever be good for."

"Cut it out, Mike," Chided Angela, noting the anger on his face.

"What? It's the truth. This guy is just a nobody. Hey, nice shirt. Where'd you get it? Do you even have a receipt?"

"Newton, I'm giving you one chance to shut up."

"What are you gonna do?"

He saw red. Standing up, he towered over where Newton sat, now cowering from fear. "Nothing," he spat. "But next time you insult my patients, you'll be in the bed next to Bella's. are we clear?"

"It's not like they can defend themselves."

Lauren finally stood up. "Shut up, Mike! Just shut up! I can't stand you! God, every time you open your mouth, it's to say something bad. You're the one that challenged Tyler to race you! It's your fault he's dead!" she screamed, tears pouring down her face.

Angela was crying too. "She's right. Tyler's dead and that new girl is dying because you couldn't keep your superiority complex to yourself. You have nothing to say to him."

Edward sat back down, the girls' accusations making him collapse in his seat from the shock. "You're the reason. You're the reason Bella's in the hospital. You're the reason she won't wake up."

Mike just stared. "It was supposed to be all in good fun, man… I didn't mean…"

"Breaking the law never turns out to be fun," he mumbled. "Look," he said, looking up at Mike, "I don't know what your problem is. I don't care what your problem with me is. I care that if you're the asshole these girls say you are, you have no business telling me I'm a nobody. Because I may have vandalized and stolen, but you _caused someone to die_. I'm not kicking your ass right now because if anyone is not worth it, it's _you, _and because Bella needs me." With that, he stormed toward the entrance of the cafeteria. "Oh, and by the way," he called over his shoulder. "If you value the size of your asshole and wouldn't like to have my foot in it, I'd suggest you stay the hell away from Lauren, Angela, and Jessica. They can't stand the scum you are any better than I can." And he strode out the door, leaving a stunned cafeteria full of people behind.

****

He didn't even want to finish eating. He was sick from the emotional rollercoaster he'd suffered today. He just wanted Bella. More than anything, he wanted to see her.

He should have punched that bastard in the face for insulting her and the rest of his patients that way. He should have punched him simply because he was the reason Bella _was _his patient to begin with. Why didn't he?

He deflated again. It was he couldn't do anything to wind up back in court. He'd go to jail, and that meant leaving Bella. Leaving Bella completely alone again.

Bella. It always came back to her, didn't it?

****

"Hey there, Angel Face." He sighed as he sat down next to her. He rested his head on the edge of the bed. "I had such an awful day today. That guy, Mike Newton was harassing me again. And he started saying bad things about you and my other patients, and I couldn't smash his face in because I'd go to jail. Do you know how hard it is to stand there and take that sort of trash? God, if I were in Alaska, I'd have ripped him to pieces. I may have brushes with the law, Bella Swan, but know this: I know where my loyalties lie. No one ever insults the people I love and gets away with it." He sighed. "My loyalty is with you, Angel Face. In fact, you seem to be the very reason for my existence, these days. I don't understand it at all. I don't mind, though; my existence is much less pathetic since I met you. or, non-met. Whatever. I wish you'd wake up so I could say all these things to your face. Okay, so maybe I am, but I think I'd rather have a response from you. a tangible one." He looked up then, settling his chin where his cheek had just been, and stared at her beautiful, peaceful face. "What I wouldn't give for the peacefulness you have right now. For not needing to worry about anything at all. To just lay there like you and dream my life away. But yet, what I wouldn't give to see those eyes of yours right now. even for one minute." Tears actually stung his eyes. He wiped them away with his hand and frowned at his tears. Since when did he cry over girls? Since when did he cry at all?

"What have you done to me, Bella Swan?" he whispered. "Why can't I let you go? Why don't I want to?"


	10. A Side of Me You Didnt Know

**A Side of Me You Didn't Know**

"Hey there, Angel Face." He slipped into the room and pulled up his chair. "I'm so exhausted. On the bright side, Jenny, the girl who got caught in the house fire, she woke up this morning, and it's been only about three weeks. She's doing very well, night I add. I've spent the whole day caring for her. I think she's attracted to me."

"Who isn't?" Asked Alice as she stepped into the room, followed by her father. Of course, she was referring to the fact that the dance was coming up, and it was girls choice; eight girls asked Edward to the dance. He turned them all down.

Edward blushed.

"How is she, son?" he picked up her chart and scanned it.

"Same, I guess."

"Well it seems she's doing better lately. Have you finished the book you were reading?"

"Yeah. I'm starting on another one tomorrow."

"Oh, okay. Good because it seems she is more responsive to that type of stimuli. Maybe she's on her way to waking up."

"Really?"

"Now, don't get your hopes up; you know there's no exact science to predicting when someone will wake up, or if they will. But if she has enough mental stimuli, maybe she will wake up."

"You hear that, Bells? My dad says you're doing better now. That's good. I hope you're feeling better too; I've been working awfully hard to keep you comfortable." He brushed her cheek with the tip of his finger, marveling at the softness of it. "I'll read you another book tomorrow. Chief Swan says your favorite is Wuthering Heights. Well, I personally don't like it, but I'll read it to you anyway, if you like."

His father smiled when the beeping increased slightly. Alice grinned. "Damn, Edward. You make her heart skip and she hasn't even seen you with your new look yet."

"Maybe she just likes books," he objected, blushing slightly.

Alice tsked. "Oh Edward, why is it so hard for you to believe that people might actually like you?"

He sighed. "Maybe because they don't."

"Angela and Lauren do. They worship he ground you walk on after your little show in the cafeteria the two months ago." She tsked again. "Edward, Edward, what a temper."

"Alice, there's a reason why Esme is my mom and it so that more annoying people like you don't have to tsk at me all the damn time."

"Alright, you, two, that's enough."

"Sorry dad."

"Sorry dad."

"In all honesty, I think Edward was the better man that day by not starting a fight. I'm proud of you for walking away, even when your temper dictated otherwise."

Edward looked up from Bella's peaceful face and into the warm eyes of his father. "Really?"

"Really."

Alice grinned. "We're all proud of you, little brother."

He beamed. "Thanks, Alice."

Carlisle smiled and headed out to continue his rounds. Alice turned back to Edward. "So. Tell me about Bella."

"Well, her bones in her pelvis and spine are healed, but she's probably still in pain. Um… her spinal cord… was not… permanently damaged, but there's still a chance she won't be able to walk because of the damage to her pelvis. I guess it's just a waiting game now." he sighed. Tears stung his eyes again as he talked about her suffering. "I know she hears me," he whispered. "I've told her all about us and about me. I've told her all about her dad and how he loves her. How I love her. Are you sure it's not crazy to fall in love with someone in a coma?"

"I never said it wasn't crazy. I just said that I understand it. She and I will be good friends. I can feel it."

"See? It's like she's a magnet."

"For trouble, according to Chief Swan."

Edward stuck his tongue out at her, then shooed her out so he could do his job.

****

"Hi mom." He kissed his mom's cheek.

"Hi honey. How was work?"

"Good. Dad says Bella's doing better now."

"That's great, honey."

He pushed up his sleeves and started on the dishes Esme had abandoned to greet him. She watched in astonishment.

"What, mom?" he was concerned at her totally bewildered look.

"Nothing…" she shook her head and proceeded to start on dinner.

"So mom. It's been some time since it's been just the two of us. We hardly talk. What's going on?"

She sighed. "Your father works a lot. That's exactly what's going on."

"So? I work a lot too."

"I know. And you work hard too. What is it about that girl?"

It was his turn to sigh. "I really don't know. Out of all the patients dad showed me my first day, she was the one who stuck out to me. She looks… I don't know… innocent? Maybe it's that she was so helpless in the situation that brought her there. Maybe it's that taking care of her finally showed me how to be human."

She looked up at her son. "What do you mean?"

"Don't get me wrong, you and Carlisle are the kindest, most compassionate people I've ever met. You guys have put up with me longer than I deserve. But all my life, with everything I went through, I was just used to being hard and cold. And totally uncaring. Kill or be killed, it was how I lived. And when I came into your home, it was different. I expected you to be angry and hurtful like everyone else. But you weren't. I guess maybe I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.I almost wanted it because i expected it so much." He dried and replaced the last dish. Then he grabbed a spoon and dipped it in the sauce his mother was working on. "Oh God, mom. Remind me to be home for dinner more often. Cafeteria food sucks!" he grinned at her. "Anyways, it wasn't until I had to take care of helpless people that I found it in me to be… I don't know… _nice._"

Esme just stared at her son as he practically waltzed back to sink to rinse his spoon. He came back with a fork. "Can I try the rice too?"

She laughed. "You're going to eat it all before dinner."

He stepped close to her, eyes smoldering. "Please, momma?" He even pouted.

Unable to resist his dazzling charm, she sighed. "Fine. One. Taste."

He grinned happily and tried the rice.

"I suppose you want some of the chicken as well."

He shrugged. "Nah. I know you like to plate the food all artistically and stuff like you see on TV, so I won't ruin your chicken. Besides, the way you cook, I already know it's going to be amazing." He rinsed his fork. "Later mom. I have a paper to start." And he practically danced out of the kitchen, leaving Esme stunned.

She didn't know who that girl was, but she knew she'd changed Edward from the cold, uncaring boy he'd been into the son of her dreams. She'd never seen this more sensitive Edward before. Warm and happy, always smiling. A slow smile spread across her face. Her family was finally coming together.


	11. A Reason for All That I Do

**A Reason For All That I Do**

"Hey there, Angel Face—dad? What's going on?" he pushed his way through a crowd of nurses and doctors to find his father and a very awake Bella Swan. He almost collapsed with joy. "Oh my God… you're awake. Bella?"

She stared at him, wide, warm brown pools that drew him in, just like his dream. He stepped close to her gingerly, touching her soft cheek. She blushed under his scrutiny. "Hi. Have we met?"

"Not officially," he grinned. "I'm Edward Cullen. My dad is your doctor. I'm one of the workers here… well… I work for free."

"Oh. Hi Edward. I'm Bella."

He smiled and tears filled his vision. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Bella," he whispered.

She looked alarmed for a moment, then she blushed again. "You too. how… long… has it been…?"

"About nine months."

She gasped. "What? What about my dad?"

"He's handling it. He's missed you a lot. Do you hurt?"

"No. but I was hungry… one of the nurses helped me eat since you weren't here. She was waiting for you."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I won't keep you waiting again."

"Edward? I feel like I've met you before."

He chuckled. "I've been caring for you for about five months. I've been doing… other stuff. I wrote a song for you, too."

Tears welled in her eyes. "You did?"

"Yes. It's called 'Bella's Lullaby' and I recorded it so you could hear it while I was working and had to be away."

She sniffed. "That's so sweet." She looked around. "Hey, yellow daisies. I think I remember you said you brought some."

"Yeah… months ago. Those are from your dad, they replaced the wilted ones."

"Oh."

"I uh… I came to read to you. You always liked it when I'd read."

She stared at me in awe. "It was you?"

"Yes, it was."

She reached for him. "Can I see you?"

He went willingly into her embrace.

She pressed herself into his comfort. He felt safe. And he smelled so amazing. His eyes were a shade of green she'd never seen before. His black t-shirt and minty scrub pants made his eyes look even more intense. His lips were cherry red and his skin was soft under her hands. He was muscular, but not bulky. Like a pillar of strength. "Stay with me," she whispered when he moved to stand, clutching him closer.

He seemed surprised, but he pressed a kiss to her forehead and let her lean on him. He put his arm around her gently. "Okay," he whispered back. "I'll stay as long as you want. It's okay. Would you like me to keep reading?"

She looked up at him and nodded.

He grinned, and, after getting them settled comfortably, he began to read.

****

Esme walked in to the room where her son slept. In his arms, a beautiful young girl with matted chocolate hair also slept peacefully. She smiled at the tender scene. He had called to tell her that he would stay the night at the hospital since she was awake. She told him she'd bring comfortable clothes for both of them, but it seemed she was too late; they were both sound asleep in each other's arms, and something told her that would happen for a long time thereafter.

"Edward," Bella mumbled in her sleep.

His eyes shot open and he looked at her. Seeing that she was neither afraid nor in pain, he brushed her cheek tenderly and kissed her forehead. "Love you," he murmured into her ear, then he drifted back to sleep.

Esme stepped over to him. "Edward," she whispered. "Wake up."

His eyes shot open again. "What happened? Is she okay?" he looked between his mother and Bella several times in panic.

"She's fine. She's sleeping, you'll wake her."

"Oh." He looked down at her again, tapping the crease between her brows lightly with the tip of his finger. It instantly disappeared and she snuggled closer. He chuckled as he held her. "I'm sorry, Angel Face."

Her breathing returned to normal and he grinned. "You were saying, momma?"

"Yeah…" she stopped talking for a moment, taking in the pure elation on her son's face. "I'm glad you're happy, son," she said quietly. "I have your clothes."

He beamed. "Thanks, momma. I love you."

She smiled. "You too, honey. When do I get to meet her?"

"When she's awake," he said sternly. This caused Bella to frown again. "Sorry, Angel Face. My mom is excited to meet you."

Esme chuckled. "I'll swing by tomorrow to visit her, okay?"

"Okay. Bring Alice."

"Oh! About that. Emmett says he's coming by to visit us and Rosalie for a while before he heads home to Alaska."

"Awesome! When will he be here?"

"If you like, I'll bring him by too. I have to pick him up at the bus station around one-thirty."

"Why'd he take the bus?" Edward wondered, confused.

"He wanted a road trip without having to pay for gas."

"God, he's… special."

"Leave him alone, Edward."

He rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm dying to see him, okay? But tell him not to be too loud, okay? She still gets bad headaches and things like that-- from the concussions she got—and loudness makes migraines worse."

"Okay. I'll let him know. Goodnight, son."

"Good night, mom. Love you."

"You too, Edward."

****

"Edward!" screamed Emmett at the top of his lungs, causing Bella to jump awake and then cringe in pain.

"Emmett! Dude, shut the fuck up."

"Oh. Sorry. Hi, Edward's girlfriend! So you're the girl, huh? Everyone's been telling me how much you've changed my man here. I had to see for myself. I'm Emmett Cullen. Pleasure to meet you."

She had to laugh at him. He was really huge, like he was some type of body builder… Mr. Olympia or something. But his face was kind and boyish, and he seemed to be very playful. They would get along well. "Hi. I'm Bella Swan. Um… if you don't mind explaining what you meant… about changing Edward?"

He laughed, and the booming echo of it caused her head to ache a little. "Edward here is the toughest badass you've ever met. Landed his ass in jail several nights and all that. DUI, vandalism, whatever else... Of course, you probably weren't awake when he told you all this.

"He's working here because up in Alaska, where Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle used to live, he got in trouble and they sentenced him to community service. Uncle Doctor C got transferred here, and he dragged Edward with him to do community service here. Don't get me wrong, Doc is my favorite uncle, and he's really nice and all that… but he doesn't take shit from people, and Edward had him up to his ears with it. He got tired and forced him to work here.

"You did something to him, I have to say. My man Edward is world renowned for his gothic Emo ways and badass attitude."

She just gaped at him. Then she gaped at Edward.

"Bella, love… Emmett is exaggerating a little."

Emmett and Alice snorted.

"I had—_brushes_… with the law… I was a troubled person."

"Why?" she squeaked, still gaping at him.

"Um… my biological parents… they gave me up. I was in several… _less than quality_ foster homes before Carlisle and Esme adopted me for good. I had trust issues and other issues… and I lashed out a lot."

Alice snorted again. "More like he drove the rest of us right out of our minds."

"Shut up, Alice."

"Alice?"

"My sister," Edward clarified.

"Oh." She hid her face in his shoulder, timidly peeking out at where she stood. "Hi Alice."

"Hi, Bella. We're so glad you're awake. My idiot brother can't shut up about you."

"Rosie must be thrilled to see how you're doing, Eddie."

"Rosie?" she echoed.

"Edward," he growled his correction at the hated nickname, and then he turned his attention to Bella. "Rosalie is Emmett's girlfriend, Bella. They've been together since seventh grade. He's a sophomore in college. They're just as grossly lovey-dovey as they were the first day they met. Rosalie was my foster sister for a period, but we still saw each other in school all the time. She was my favorite. When the Cullens adopted me, I introduced them. And here we are. She decided to come down with us… she doesn't like to be away."

"Ooh, ooh! Speaking of which, I've decided I'm going to propose to Rose."

A gasp filled the room, and Esme, who'd been silent the whole time, began to tear up. "Oh honey, that's great! I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks. She says she wants to move down with me."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She's coming with me to Berkley. I have an apartment, so she can live with me. We already cleared it with the people that run housing."

"That's great, Em. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Ed."

"Ward."

Bella giggled. "You're funny, Emmett."

"Well thank you, pretty lady."

She giggled again, causing Edward to smile.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm just glad to see you smiling, that's all."

"That reminds me, dad's coming to see me later. It'd be cool if I could introduce him to all of you. I mean, since you and Edward are a package deal…"

"Great idea, honey. What time is he coming?"

"Six-ish."

"Plenty of time for me to cook dinner for all of us."

"What's this I hear about dinner?" Carlisle walked in, pleased to see his patient and son's girlfriend laughing and smiling.

"Nothing, honey. Chief Swan is coming to see Bella. It would be good to have some dinner ready and bring it here."

"I'll try to pop in then. How are you feeling today, Bella?" He checked her charts for her vitals and smiled at her.

"I'm okay. It still hurts my hips to move around."

"Well that might go on for a while. But, I've arranged for one of the best physical therapists in the country to come help with your recovery. You'll start therapy hopefully next week, depending on how you're coming along."

She stared. "B-but… dad, Charlie… he doesn't h-have the—how will he pay?"

Edward grinned. "He won't. Dad and I talked about taking some of our savings and some of my college fund to pay the costs."

Her jaw dropped. "I… can't be your charity case. And I sure as hell can't take your college money…"

"Uh-uh, Bella. It's not your place to worry about that. We're very rich, okay, and it won't affect my college at all. We want to do this for you. _I_ want to do this for you."

"But why?"

"Because my life was a mess until the day I saw you lying there. Because I fell hard for you, and I don't know how. Because you've become the reason for everything I do. Because you're the reason I'm the person I am now. Understand something, Bella. The reasons for everything I've done in the past five months have revolved around you. you saved my life, whether or not you realized it at the time. And you saved my family. I owe you everything and love you for eternity. It's only fair that I save yours."

Tears spilled over her lashes and splashed dramatically on his hands. "You really love me?"

"More than anything."

She smiled up at him. The smile quickly fell of her face as he tenderly pressed his lips to hers, leaving her breathless. The kiss was sweet and innocent, but both were shocked by the electricity that passed between them.

He'd found home. Right there with his lips pressed to hers, he found home. It was something he never experienced before. She was still staring at him dazedly. "I love you Bella. Everything I do, every word I say, it will all be because I love you."

Instead of responding, she pressed her lips to his again. She'd found home.

"I love you," he breathed against her.

She pulled away and looked into his eyes. They smoldered with emotions she never understood. Hope. Pain. Ancient grief. The one thing that showed in his eyes the most was the need to be wanted. Wanted by _her._ The thought filled her with a warm feeling she'd never felt. She was wanted. She was needed. She was home. Forever. And there was nothing she wanted more.

She snuggled into his arms as he pulled her close to him. She was tired. "Love you too," she mumbled before falling into slumber.


	12. Something I Must Live With Every Day

**Something I Must Live With Every Day**

Charlie and his family had left hours ago, leaving them alone. Edward was soaring as he held her. She looked like an angel off-duty, slumbering in his arms. And she loved him. The thought made his chest swell again, and he could hardly stop from shouting his newfound love to the universe. He was so happy. He clutched her closer and buried his nose in her hair.

She frowned a little.

"Bella," he whispered. "Bella?"

She groaned.

"Do you hurt?"

She nodded before burying her face in his chest again.

"Okay," he whispered. "Let's put you in bed, and I'll call the nurse."

She shook her head. "Don't let go of me," came her muffled voice. "Please stay."

"Bella, baby--"

"Nuh-uh," she mumbled, shaking her head and grabbing his shirt in her tiny fist.

"I'll lay with you."

"Okay." He put her down on the bed and quickly paged the nurse before slipping in next to her. The nurse came, put some medicine in her tube, and excused herself.

"Bella?"

"Hmm…?"

"I love you, baby."

She peeled one eye open to look at him. "You too," she said, the drugs numbing her mind and her senses.

"Baby?"

"Huh?"

"You awake?"

"Yeah…. No…"

He chuckled then grew serious. "Babe, I have to go back to Alaska for a little bit."

"What?" she cried. "Why?"

"Shh. I have a court date. I'll be gone for three weeks, but then I'll come back for you, okay?"

"Don't leave me," she whimpered.

"I won't leave you, honey. It's just that… my last day of work is on Tuesday and after that the judge said he'd review my progress. I'm gonna pass with flying colors—thanks to you—and then I'll come home, okay?"

"Okay, Edward," she mumbled incoherently. "I'ove'you, E'war'…" and she was down for the count.

He pressed a kiss to her cheek. "You too, Angel Face."

****

"Dr. Cullen? What's in that radio over there?"

He chuckled. "He left you that CD again, didn't he? He wrote and recorded a song for you months ago, so he could play it for you while he was working."

"I miss him."

"Me too."

"What happened to him? Why was he in court? What made him so… I don't know…"

"Oh Bella. He was still a child when we adopted him. He'd been in more foster homes than he was years old. He was twelve, in seventh grade, when he came into our home. he was quiet and brooding. We didn't know what to do with him.

"It turns out that he'd slipped through the cracks of the system. He'd been neglected in several homes, downright abused in others. Only a few foster parents found it in their hearts to be kind to the boy. He was very damaged when he came to us.

"His biological parents were struggling financially, and the father used to abuse the mother. Um… she forged his signature and gave up their parental rights. Of course, no one ever told him this… he was too young when it happened, and no one was allowed to tell him why he was given up. He grew up thinking his parents left him to suffer hell after hell without end. As he got older, he lashed out… bullying and hurting other boys, playing with girl's heads… he's a heartbreaker, that one. He's had more girl friends in one school year than there are days in a month.

"He started doing… criminal things. Vandalizing, shoplifting… carrying weapons… we were worried he'd turn into some type of gangster or killer. When the judge sentenced him to community service, he was supposed to just do the usual… pick up trash, all that stuff. I pulled some strings when we moved here and had him work helping people here in the hospital. Then he met you." his eyes filled with wonder. "That night he got home late, and Esme yelled at him, asking where he'd been. He just stood there, head bowed until she finished, and then he went to his room. The next day, he was home early. Without sarcastic remarks or yelling. He was quiet at dinner, and there was no arguing or picking on his sister. At first we thought he was sick. And he was. Lovesick. I don't know what you did to my son, but I thank God every day that you came into his life."

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "I didn't do anything."

"You did something. He stopped complaining about his work hours, he stopped trying to trick the clock and he stopped fighting at school. One day he came to me and asked me to drive to the ocean with him. We went to the cliffs at La Push. He had this bundle with him. He pulled out two guns, a bowie knife, and a switch blade and threw them into the water. Then he threw his biological mother's cross in, along with another blade, and said, 'okay, we can go now'. Then he walked back to the car. Just like that. I wondered if he'd committed a crime with them, but he shook his head no and stayed silent for the rest of the day. That night, after work, I decided to pop in and check on you one last time and he was sitting there, crying, telling you all the wrong he'd done. He kept saying how sorry he was. My wife can tell you the tears I've cried over my son. I've loved him since day one, but seeing him break down that way was a bit much to handle."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Every day, he came home, and he was just a little bit brighter, less depressed and angry, than the day before. And then, a couple weeks before you came to, Esme said he actually danced into the kitchen with a big grin on his face, washed the dishes for her, and demanded to try all her cooking before waltzing back out. Yesterday I heard him tell Alice he loved her. And I heard him threaten her newest boyfriend, Jasper. He and Emmett were playing football outside the other day, and he lost. Instead of getting angry, he just clapped Emmett on the back and said, 'good game'. Then he announced that he was hungry and demanded to try Esme's cooking again."

She chuckled. "Esme is a good cook. That sounds like him. He's always hungry. Emmett too. Do you think it runs in the family?"

He laughed. "Maybe."

"Alice says she needs to drag me shopping. I'm so confused! I mean, I can hardly even walk yet and she keeps telling me that she needs my size so I can have the perfect outfit for when Edward drives me home. That girl has too much energy," she added with a grumble.

He laughed again. "Alice is a force to be commended, alright. But she's nothing compared to Edward. It seems that now he's the bubbly one in the house. He actually goes shopping with her now. and he buys more things than she does."

She had to laugh. "Silly Edward."

"What'd I do now?"

"Edward! You're back!" she grinned happily when he pulled her on to his lap.

"I said I would be, didn't I?"

"How did it go, son?"

"Well. The judge says I'm looking well. I told him everything that happened, and he said that he was impressed with my grades. He was so impressed, he decided to sponsor me and Bella to the college of our choice."

"Really?"

"Me? I can go to Dartmouth?"

"You can go anywhere you want, Angel Face. Just know that I'm coming with you."

"Drat," she said, grinning.

"Hey!"

"Why do you call me that?"

"What? Angel Face? Because when you sleep you look like an angel."

She blushed.

He grinned. "You're cute when you blush. My Blushing Bella."

Carlisle laughed. "I guess that's my cue."

"No, dad. Stay. I wasn't done telling you. The judge decided to pay me for the extra hours."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He said that I worked harder and longer than he expected, and so he said that for the seventy extra hours on the clock, he's going to pay me. Thirty bucks an hour, can you believe it? Oh, and Vinny, the guy I was always hanging out with, he's in jail now. I guess the idiot got caught trying to steal a car. With a baby in it. Of course, he was stoned off his ass when he did that... the idiot didn't realize about the baby."

Carlisle sucked in a breath. "Oh my."

"Yeah. Good thing I wasn't around for that one, huh? Nor was I around for when my best friend crashed into a tree, drunk off his ass." He flashed a grin at Bella. "I was here with my Blushing Bella, and there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be." He sighed. "Dad, I'm sorry for all the trouble I put you guys through. I know that you've sacrificed a lot to take care of me, the problem child, and I just want to say thanks for not giving up on me like everyone else."

Carlisle's eyes were glistening. He put his arms around his son. "Always," he whispered. " I would never give up on you. I prayed this day would come. You're a man now, Edward. A good one at that."

He smiled happily. "I love you, dad."

"I love you too, son. Every day. All the time. No matter what."

Bella coughed uncomfortably. "Um, guys?"

"What?"

"You're squishing me."


	13. I Continue Learning

**I Continue Learning**

Two months went by. Bella was slowly getting stronger. Edward wrote two more songs for her and read her four more books. He spent all of his free time with her. He did his homework while she slept and attended every therapy session with her. She could sit up on her own now, and he grinned with joy when he saw her sitting on her bed, miserably chewing the horrid cafeteria food. "Hey babe! Look at you! All sitting up on your own and stuff."

She giggled. "Hi Edward." She shoved her tray away.

"Oh no you don't missy."

"Please," she pleaded. "It tastes horrible. Are you sure those are even eggs? And the oatmeal makes me gag."

He sighed and took her tray. "How about some IHOP to go?"

She squealed. "Really?"

"Yep."

"Awesome! Can I have those corn cake pancakes and scrambled eggs? Real eggs."

He chuckled. "Okay, but after that I'm off with Alice again. Dad got her a 911Turbo for her birthday, she wants to take it for a spin."

"Cool. A 911Turbo?"

"Yeah." When she looked confused, he grinned. "A Porsche."

"Oh. Those are really nice cars."

"They are."

"What car do you have?"

"Well… I drive Esme's Aston Martin sometimes. But mine is just a Volvo. But my dad says I'll inherit his Mercedes-Benz when he gets a new car. Maybe you can inherit the Mercedes. I like my Volvo."

She gasped in horror. "What about my truck?!"

He stared. "You still want that crust-bucket?!"

"Hey! It's not a crust bucket. It runs well, it's really sturdy--believe me, it you know what a klutz I used to be, you'd want me to stay in that god-forsaken wheelchair. I'd be less accident prone—and it's safe."

"The seatbelt is fucked on the passenger's side and that thing doesn't get past fifty."

"Duh. Why do you think my dad, Police Chief Swan, got it?"

He laughed. "You're something else, Bella Swan. Fine, you can keep your crust-bucket, but you'll get the Mercedes anyway. I'd feel better knowing _all_ your passengers are safe."

"Please. Who do you think has better chances against a Semi?"

He visibly paled. "Um… let's not get hit by semi trucks, okay? You're in enough trouble as it is, and that was just a minivan."

She stared. "Don't get upset. Good God, you're more traumatized by this than I am!"

"I just don't like seeing you hurt."

"Edward, I'm an accident magnet. It's more likely than you think."

"Okay, okay. You can keep the truck. Can we talk about something else?"

"Okay," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

He looked up at her. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I just… can't stand the idea… God, I've waited so long for this… I just can't. Don't be mad."

"I understand. Charlie's that way too. But you're gonna have to talk about it."

He sighed and stared at his hands for a moment. When he lifted his eyes again, they glistened with tears. "I don't think I'll ever be strong enough to even think about losing you."

"Oh Edward…"

"I love you so much, Angel Face."

"Love you too."

****

She was asleep when he returned from his drive with Alice. Of course, that drive turned into a mall outing, in which he'd been forced into buying three pairs of jeans, two dress pants, and tons upon tons of polo shirts. He also bought Bella a charm bracelet with a little diamond heart charm on it. Needless to say, his half hour drive turned into a four hour outing. He was not pleased to see her sleeping in the arms of a tall, good-looking Native American boy.

"Who are you?" he practically growled.

"Jacob Black. You must be Bella's boyfriend."

"Damn straight. My name is Edward," he added stiffly.

He chuckled. "Don't get all pissy or anything, alright? I'm an old family friend. My older sisters live far away and I was studying abroad. I had no clue what happened to Bella until I got back here. She said she was in a car-pedestrian accident."

He nodded grimly. "She was the meat in a van-truck sandwich. The other driver was killed."

Jacob Black's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "Oh God."

Edward studied them for a moment, and then went into the cabinet. "Her neck isn't comfortable. She's going to wake up with a headache." He got a pillow and slipped his arm easily under her and between her and Jacob, holding her up while he arranged the pillow.

"Edward?" she mumbled.

"Go back to sleep, Angel Face." He withdrew his arm.

"Jacob?"

"I'm right here, honey." His voice made Edward want to punch him, then puke. He held carefully still.

She frowned in her sleep, obviously more comfortable than before, but confused.

"Bella, honey, you're going to stay with Jacob, okay?" Edward said to her.

She immediately shook her head, one arm reaching blindly for him. "Don't go."

"Is she always like this?" asked Jacob, now holding a confused, upset, and slumbering Bella in a slightly restraining grip.

He sighed and took her hand. "I'm right here, Angel Face. I won't go."

She wasn't satisfied.

Sighing, he took Bella from Jacob's lap and sat with her on her bed instead. "I'm sorry." Even though he wasn't. "She doesn't really like it when I'm not here when she sleeps."

"Oh. Why?"

"I don't know. Her dad said that when she lived in Phoenix, she was sort of a loner. She didn't have many friends, and the ones she did have she fretted over like a mother hen with only one chick."

Jacob sighed. "Bells was my mud-pie buddy growing up. She would come up to spend the summer… but then her mom fought for more rights and she stopped coming up. We still talked a lot, up until I went to high school. Her mom… I guess was Bi-Polar… the times she wouldn't take her meds were the worst for Bella. Renee would order her around, make her do everything, clean everything… she was in full control of all the bills and expenses of the house by age eleven. The reason she worried about everything and everyone was just so they wouldn't yell at her. She goes out of her way to make people happy, that's just how she is. She misses the simpler times, I think. Where people actually fretted over her and not the other way around. You should see how her whole face lights up when she talks about you and how patient you are with her in therapy. How you always know how to make her pain go away. How you stay with her at night when she's feeling lonely."

"How I know when she's awake even though I'm at home and often call her at three in the morning?"

"Just to see if she needs you," he sighed, reaching out and brushing Bella's hair. "I wish I could be that person for her."

He didn't know what to say to that. He instinctively clutched her closer. No way in hell was he sharing.

Jacob chuckled again. "You're good for her. I can see how happy you make her. I already know how happy she makes you… judging by how you're pulling the possessive shit with me. Like I don't already know that the part of her that matters most belongs to you."

Edward loosened his grip. "She saved my life. I'd be taking it in the ass in some six by eight cell if it weren't for her."

"You too, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well… I wasn't doing that well I school. I got involved in some stuff… minor gang-banging, that kind of thing… Bella whipped my ass into shape. She said that the gangsters wouldn't be the ones shanking me if I didn't stop acting up. You know, Bella is not angered easily, but God, when she showed up at my door, here in Forks, demanding to sign me up for college… she sure is something to look at when she's angry."

Edward had to laugh. "Once she smelled a wine cooler on my breath. I haven't had a drink since."

"You know what I mean, then."

He sobered. "It was more than that. I was here on community service. For menacing, assault, and vandalism. But that's not what pissed them off. It was the prank-calling the cops."

"Whoa."

"Yeah. I was slashing the tires on a car and the owner caught me. Have no clue honestly, about why I was fucking with that guy's car, but I was. He tried to hit me, and I fought back. He tried to bash my head through the windshield, so I pulled my switchblade on him. And then I took his cellphone and called 911. I told them that someone was being assaulted four blocks away. Then I knocked the guy out and ran for it."

He eyed Bella nervously before shifting his gaze back to Edward.

Edward sighed. "She was what changed me. I threw away all my guns and knives, and I started making an honest effort in my relationships with my family and friends. She really made an honest man out of me."

Jacob smiled softly. "She does that to the worst of us, I guess. I bet if she tried, she could talk down a terrorist."

"There's no way in hell I'd let her get near one of those fuckers."

He chuckled. "Bella is very strong willed. Besides, you can't say no to her."

"Yeah I can," Edward protested indignantly.

"Nope. She says jump you say how high. You know it's true."

"It is not! Oh God, am I whipped?"

Jacob just grinned as she stirred.

"Edward?"

"Hi, Angel Face."

"Hi. Where's Jacob?"

"Right there. He's been waiting for you to wake up."

"Oh. Sorry I fell asleep on you, Jakey."

"It's no problem, honey."

She looked up at Edward. "Edward… I really want some jell-o."

He set her down on the bed and made for the door. "Do you want orange, lime, or raspberry?"

"Lime please."

"I'll be right back with that, baby, okay?"

She nodded and smiled her thanks.

His answering smile was dizzying.

Jacob just looked at him and smirked, nodding.

Edward glared at him. "Shut the hell up, Jacob."


	14. And So I Have To Say

**And So I Have to Say**

"Hi there, Angel Face!"

She stood up slowly. "Look, Edward! I'm standing today."

He just stared at her. A grin spread slowly across his face. Tears streamed down his cheeks. "You're-- look at you, you're all standing by yourself and stuff--" he ran over and gathered her into his arms. "Do you have any idea how much I love you right now?"

She laughed. "Put me down! You're squeezing me!"

"Nuh-uh," he protested into her hair. "I'm going to hold on to you forever."

She giggled again. "Can I at least have my feet on the floor? Please? It's been too long since I have."

"Oh fine." he set her down, still holding her close. "Can you walk yet?"

She laughed. "Um, one thing at a time there, big guy."

"Aww, drat."

She grinned. "Believe me, I know." she sighed. "I'm tired. PT has been so hard."

"I know, baby," he sighed. "On the bright side, I get to take you home tomorrow."

"I can't wait!"

"Chief Swan will be so happy."

"I miss him. I haven't seen him in days."

"He's been busy, baby. Just yesterday there was another horrid car accident. Before that,there was an animal attack. He's got paperwork coming out of his ass."

She snorted. "Lovely."

"I know, Angel Face. But he misses you too. You'll be home now, so he's bound to see you eventually. Ooh, I have something to tell you. If it's okay with you, My dad and Chief Swan say that I can crash your guest room for a little while... just until you can walk on your own. So you're not lonely, and so you can make it up and down the stairs."

Her eyes widened. "You would do that for me?"

"I would do anything for you," he said cheerfully. "I love you, Angel Face. Rest, okay?"

She snuggled into his chest. "Okay."

****

He sat up and there was a big grin on his face. All through his shower and getting ready, he couldn't wipe it off. Every time he tried, it would just get bigger. His face was starting to hurt.

Today was the day. He was going to take her out of the hospital and bring her home. Charlie would let him stay there with her, so she wasn't alone. They would finally get to do real boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. His plan was that, as soon as she was truly steady on her feet, walking and all, he would take her to the meadow he found off of one of the trails. For now, he had to stick with dinner and movies. He didn't mind, he just wanted to be with her. More than anything, he just wanted to spend time with his girl. He would have to keep Alice away from her until she had the energy, though. Although he doubted she would ever have the energy to deal with his sister. No one else did.

_Speak of the devil._ "Edward! Are you ready to go get Bella?! I have just the outfit for her."

"Alice... she had her last surgery only three weeks ago. She could still be sore. What are you making her wear? How do you even have her size?! You stalker!"

"Relax! It's a track suit from Ecko Red. Very comfortable, and she won't look like she just walked out of a madhouse. And I have some shoes--"

"No heels, Alice! She can't even walk as it is."

"What--? But--"

"Alice! Go find her some decent sneakers, okay?"

She pouted. "Fine."

"Aww, Alice, come on, don't be that way. You know full well that she isn't able to wear that stuff yet. When she's well enough, and Dad and I will decide that, you can play Bella-barbie with her all you want. But until then, I make the rules. And the rules are, no heels, not tight clothing, no jeans. Got it? No mini skirts, freaky tops, none of that. And please, in the name of the ever-loving God, no make up. EVER."

"You're such a spoilsport."

"You know it, baby sister." he gave her his crooked grin, and she huffed and stomped out of the room.

"Meet you in the car," she grumbled.

He chuckled. "I love you, Alice!" he called out the door. He laughed when he heard a "No you don't!' followed by the door slamming closed.

"Aww, great," he muttered to himself. He got her mad. Alice was insufferable when she was angry. "Oh well," he sighed to himself. "Let's get this show on the road." He remembered to bring a pair of his sweatpants, in case Alice wound up trying to make her wear something tight anyway.


	15. Before I Go

**Before I Go**

When they walked in the room, she was sitting up, trying to arrange her hair into some sort of order. "I was wondering when you'd get here! The doctor said I could leave half-hour ago! And I cant just up and walk home and ditch you, so I had to wait."

Edward chuckled. "Are you excited?"

she snorted. "I think the floor at home is more comfortable than this bed—if you want to call it that-- right now. I'm so ready to be out of here."

Alice danced over to the bed, throwing the clothes at her. "Good. Put these on. Edward and I will wait outside the room. When you're done," she added with a pointed look at Bella's hair, "I'll fix your hair."

Bella nodded. "If you can tame it, I'll be grateful."

"Oh, I can tame it, sister. Get dressed." And she dragged Edward out of the room, telling him that she needed to get Bella a new outfit for dinner with him the next weekend.

"Shut up, Alice! That was supposed to be a surprise!"

"Oh... oh shit, sorry. Do you think she heard?"

He groaned. "You fail, Al. Let go of me, I can walk on my own."

She chuckled as their voices faded down the hall. She would act surprised, she decided as she dressed. Not that she was a good actress, but she would try. For Edward. Because he'd done so much for her in the past year that the least she could do in return was just to give him whatever he wanted. She hated surprises, which he well knew, but if he wanted her to be surprised, she would be.

Alice reappeared. "Sit still," she commanded. Then she set to work detangling Bella's hair.

"Alice, what the fuck? You're going to rip all her hair out. I like her hair."

"Edward, you worry too much. She's fine, she'd tell me if she weren't."

"She's going to get a headache."

"Guys, I'm here, you know." Bella waved in their general direction, although neither noticed.

"She's not going to get a headache."

"You're yanking that shit through her hair like it's not attached to her head!"

"Guys!"

"You want to do it yourself?"

"No, but I have something that might make it less painful."

"Why are you telling me this only now, asshole? What is it?"

"I picked it up in the gift shop. I told you to wait for me, but you listen from your ass, so... anyway, I have detangler." he held up a bottle with a picture of a horse on it, that read 'mane and tail' with a cocky grin.

"You're a god," sighed Bella.

"I know," he grinned cheekily. "I also have some non-hospital issue shampoo and conditioner, also courtesy of Mane and Tail. It smells good and it's good for your hair."

"You really are god among men. I love you so much."

"Shut up, lovebirds. Give me the detangler."

He sighed and did as he was told. He was relieved to see that Bella's hair, though dripping wet from the detangler, was now releasing the knots with ease. Alice reached in her bag, and Edward was shaking his head before she had what she wanted. "Alice, I told you no make up."

"But Edward--"

"She's perfect the way she is. And she hates that shit."

she gasped. "No way."

"Alice, you know how much I hate kissing girls with that shit on their face, and since she's my girlfriend and I have to kiss her I'd prefer not to have that shit on her face. Thanks, Alice."

She huffed. "Your boyfriend is a colossal pain in the ass, did you know that? You're done. Since I'm going to get my ass kicked over some fucking eyeliner and chapstick and clear lipgloss... your done."

"Ooh! Is it cherry?"

"No. it was going to be lipsmackers vanilla. But since you didn't want it, too bad, you're too late. Go get the car."

"Fuck you, Alice."

"Um... I don't thing your girlfriend would appreciate that."

"Fuck you, Alice."

Bella laughed. "Okay, guys. That's enough. I don't want to wear make up, and since it's my face, its my choice, number one. Number two, don't worry, Edward. I have some lipgloss I bought a Victoria's secret. Vanilla, strawberry, shortbread, cherry... and I bought sour apple and pomegranate from bath and body works before I moved here... they are all unused. I'll treat you sometime."

"I love you, Bella." he pressed a kiss to her lips and threw a wink at Alice.

She huffed. "Fuck you, Edward."

"I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate that."

"Fuck you, Edward."

* * *

**A/N: disclaimer: mane and tail® and lipsmackers®, consider it a free commercial. Everyone, use mane and tail hair products. It's amazing. And it doesn't smell like you walked out of a chemical plant with fruit.**

**i am so freakin happy about all the reviews... you guys just turned my horrible night into an awesome morning. i especially have to thank the person who reviewd every chapter. you so made my week.**

**anyways, cookies for all. more reviews would be awesome. only a couple more chapters left... then, say it with me, people, SEQUEL! woohoo! i'll give you a hint: James, Jacob/Leah, Bella/Edward, Dartmouth, stalker.**

**also, i'd like you all to check out my ther twifics, piano man and if i were you. piano man is a bella/edward about the adventures of edward teaching bella's kid piano. if i were you is about emmett's life and his relationship with rosalie, told in you POV. hope you all like!**

**cheers!  
~temporary insanity**


	16. Author's Note and Sincerest Apology

**Author's note:**

**i'm so so so so so super-massively sorry for falling off the face of the universe for so long. It's been hitting the fan consecutively, one thing after the other.**

**First my hardrive on my laptop shut down... all my chapters, stories everything... gone. I still cry sometimes lol. But I have mommy's laptop now, so im okay.**

**The reason I have mommy's laptop though, is because she fell gravely ill last month. She had a reaction to her insulin and her body shut down, causing her to go into cardiac arrest (twice) and have seizures. She also developed pneumonia in both lungs and had severe renal failure. In short, my mother almost died last month. She's still slowly recovering... her kidneys are good, her blood sugar is under control, there's no permanent brain damage... is just that goddamn pneumonia that wont go away now. So she's much better. But she's not out of the woods quite yet.**

**i'm massively behind on my schoolwork because of all of this crap, so one quick update for yeahs so u don't forget about me, okay?**

**Sry and thx for your patience...**

**~temporary insanity3**


	17. Just Want You to Know

**Just Want You to Know**

"Hi there Angel Face. Good morning." Edward practically bounced into her room, obviously pleased with himself.

"Hi... what's up with you?"

"Oh... nothing. I just thought I would take you out for breakfast."

She looked down and away. She'd always been self conscious about herself to begin with, without throwing in her crutches or other unattractive walking aids. She had refused to used a cane, sticking with her crutches hopefully until she could ditch the walking crap for good and go on her own.

It didn't help that people always gave Edward looks of derisive sympathy, like he was stuck with her or something. Like when she and Edward went on their first real date in Port Angeles, Four Months ago. He had seemed perfectly happy to tuck her into his car and lug around her wheel chair, but she hated it. And the Waitress was constantly licking her lips and swaying her hips just a little extra as she moved, flaunting her ability walk and making Bella feel miserable.

Of course, Edward ignored her completely, growling a little under his breath when she asked a question that was so obviously an innuendo. She glared at Bella constantly, which made Edward not tip the girl. He glared violently at her on the way out, before leaning down and kissing Bella solidly on the lips and pushing her toward the car.

At least she knew he wouldn't leave her...

"Babe... come on."

"But..."

"Please?" He pouted and looked up at her through his lashes. She was toast.

"You know I hate it when..."

"I promise you nothing will happen. Please?"

"Okay. Alright then."

He whooped and scooped her up, carrying her down the stairs.

****

"Babe?" Edward watched her in concern as she ate quietly. This time it was a male waiter hitting on her. She'd gotten flustered and angry, but when she went to stand, she didnt use her crutches. The pain in her hips overtook her yelling at the waiter, and she fell back into her seat in pain.

When the waiter realized what the problem was, he scoffed in disgust at having hit on a disabled person. Then he told Edward to "get yourself one that can walk, you dont need this bullshit." Edward had a heated discussion with the manager of the restaurant and they were given a new respectful waiter.

"Babe! Angel face! Come on, look at me."

She paused eating to look up.

"What's the matter, honey?

"Nothing."

"Bella."

Then he heard her sniff. "He was right... the waiter was right. You don't need me to burden you."

He got up from his seat across the table and moved to sit next to her. Gently taking the fork from her hand and putting it down, he took both of her hands in one of his, and he placed he other on her cheek, forcing her to look at him. "When I came to Forks, I was dead. I was nothing. And then I saw you laying there... and you were so _broken_. But even then you looked so beautiful. I couldn't get you out of my head. I couldn't live without seeing you or seeing you breathe. That line that measured your heartbeat was my reason for living. That beep that kept time with your heart was the most beautiful sound... I loved every minute I spent taking care you. You are my whole world."

"But I..."

"You could never be a burden to me. Ever. I love you."

She sniffed. "I love you too."

"Don't cry... shh, Angel Face, don't be sad. He doesn't deserve your tears, my love. Neither do I."

She yelped in surprise. "What?! No! You've done everything for me! No! You deserve everything I have and everything I am! Without you I'd literally be dead! How could you say that?!"

"Shh," he said, chuckling under his breath at her reaction. "You have given me everything Bella, by being alive. Don't be upset, my love. Eat your food, okay? Are you in pain?"

She sniffed. "A little."

"I'm sorry baby. We can lay together when we get home so you can rest. Did you bring your medication?"

"Yeah."

"Atta girl. Finish up, okay?"

She nodded and he moved to finish his own food, but she stopped him.

"Yes?"

"I just... I want you to... I love you. Thank you. You're everything to me."

The smiles that spread across his face lit his eyes a bright pedriot as he leaned down to kiss her forhead. "I love you, Angel Face."

"Love you too."

****

"Bella! How are you?" Esme welcomed her into the Cullen residence for the billionth time as if it were the first.

"Hi Mrs. Cullen."

"Bella, dear, you know better than to call me that. It's Esme to you."

Bella smiled shyly in return, just like always.

"BELLA BEAR! Whooooee you're lookin good!" Emmett barrelled into the room and scooped Bella up for a crushing hug, making her drop her crutches.

"Thanks," she coughed.

"Emmett put her down damnit!" hissed Edward as he picked up the crutches. He was hardly ever angry anymore, except when someone did something that made Bella uncomfortable.

"Hello, family." Carlisle walked in and set his briefcase down, loosening his tie and kissing his wife.

"Hi Uncle Doc."

"Emmett, when did you get in? Hello Bella. How do you feel today? Emmett you're crushing her."

"Emmett put her the fuck down!"

"Sorry sorry. You okay, Bella Bear?"

She chuckled as Edward steadied her and handed her her crutches back. "Yeah thanks. And... good to see you too..."

Emmett laughed. "Thanks Bella. I got in early this morning. Auntie Esme says I just barely missed Edward..." he laughed again. "You're so whipped dude."

"And you're not?" Shot back Edward. "You're Rose's yesman."

"Like he has a choice."

Bella had seen Rosalie before. Rosalie was absolutely beautiful and perfect. Long, wavy blonde hair and bouncy blue eyes, Rosalie was like something out of every man's wet dream. She was always well dressed and very athletic. On Rose and Emmett's last visit, she learned that Rosalie was a swimmer, a vollyball player, and a second degree black belt. Rosalie was not the type of person you messed around with... and she knew it too.

Emmett winced. "You win, Eddie."

"It's. Edward."

"Babe you know he hates that name. Hello there, Bella."

"Hi Rosalie." she cowered a little into Edwards side; Rosalie had always intimidated her.

"Bella honey, if you're tired we can rest now."

Bella nodded and Edward kissed his mothers cheek an waved at his father, who watched all this in amusement.

"Actually, I'd like to talk to Bella."

"Dad?"

"Uncle Doc?"

"What's going on?"

"It's okay guys. Edward, Dr. Cullen can help me up okay?"

"You sure, babe?"

"Yes."

He sighed, anxiously pushing a hand through his already tousled bronze and copper locks.

Emmett chuckled. "You were supposed to say no, Bella Bear." that earned him the bird from Edward and a smack on the head from Rosalie. "Ow! What did I do?" Esme arched and eyebrow at Edward and suddenly found staring at his feet as they shuffled very amusing.

Upstairs in Edward's room, Carlisle settled Bella into bed and then sat down next to her. "I just wanted to see how you are adjusting to everything."

"Im okay I guess. Im going to finish school by correspondence. Edward says he wants to quit Forks too but I won't let him."

Carlisle laughed.

"He says he hates that all the girls there like him."

"He complains about that often. 'hi honey, how was school?' 'suckish. Jessica was hitting on me again.' not even a 'I got a B on a pop quiz' or 'I have a paper to write'... always complaining that he doesn't want those girls looking at him anymore."

She laughed.

"I wanted to talk to you about something specific."

"What's up?"

"Edward's mother... his biological one... contacted me. She wants to speak with Edward. Now Edward is 18, so he can speak to her if she--"

"Wait a minute! She left him alone!"

"You know the circumstances under which she left him, Bella."

"What are you telling me?"

"I can't... he isnt ready to talk to me about his family."

"So you want me to?"

"If you please... he will listen to you. He loves you."

"What do I say?"

"I don't know. That's why im here."

"Because you don't know either? Nice."

"I'm not dumping my kid on you, Bella. I just know he'll handle it better coming from you."

she sighed. "Alright. Ill talk to him. But if he says no you can't let her talk to him."

"I know honey. Thank you."

"Always. You guys are my family now, you know."

Carlisle smiled softly at her, then kissed her forehead and left the room

****

"Bella? Wake up Wake up Angel Face." Edward gently brushed her hair out of her face. He'd decided not to nap with her, opting instead to listen while she talked in her sleep. She had said his name for the first time months before, but every time heard it since, he just about exploded with happiness. Today she had said his name again, but it sounded stressed.

"No, Edward. Stay," she mumbled, still sleeping.

"Bella... wake up honey."

"Don't wanna."

He chuckled. "Babe, dinner is ready. Get dressed okay?"

She groaned, opening one eye to glare at him.

He grinned. "Please, babe? Alice set out something for you do wear."

"Since when do I get dressed for dinner? What is this, the 1800s?"

"Since Alice and I both agree that you would look absolutely stunning in that outfit. I'll meet you downstairs."

Bella dragged herself out of bed and into the clothes Alice had set out for her. She made her way slowly downstairs to find a dimly lit room, and the family and Charlie standing next to a cake. The table it sat on was neatly littered with candles and presents. "Surprise," they grinned as she blushed.

Edward's eyes were dark with an emotion she'd never seen in them before as he stepped foreward to greet her at the bottom of the steps. "Bella, you're so beautiful..."

She flushed an even deeper red.

His hand reached out and touched her cheek and suddenly the need to have her in his arms was so unbearable it was painful. H pulled her flush against him, burying his nose in her hair. "God I love you, Bella."

"I love you too." her voice was muffled by his chest as she instinctively curled into him, savoring his warmth.

"Angel Face?"

"Yes?"

"Happy birthday."


	18. Epilogue: The Reason is You

**Epilogue: The Reason is You**

She grinned as she ran across the campus toward their tree, her long brown hair flying behind her as she ran. She never used to win races with Edward, and as she looked back and saw him gaining on her, she realized she'd probably lose today too. They were entering sophomore year at Dartmouth and the air was still full of the summer's warmth.

Edward dashed ahead of her and rolled easily onto their spot on the ground. And watched as she caught up and lay down next to him. She was sooooo beautiful. She'd helped him a lot when he first started speaking to his biological mother. He was angry at first, but as things came to light, he started to like her more and more. He didn't think he could ever call her 'mom' though... that was Esme. She had taken that place in his life he and Elizabeth had grown close over the past year... and Bella was to blame. _She's always to blame...._ he thought as she kissed along his jaw, making the sudden heat he was feeling quit having to do with the temperature.

Suddenly she stopped kissing him and hissed.

"What is it, Angel Face? Are you in pain?" He instantly went into worry mode. She could walk and run now, thank God, but she did still get pain in her hips and back. Sometimes she would be bed ridden for hours or even days. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I'm fine," she growled, and then he realized she was glaring at someone. He followed her gaze to see James.

"Son of a bitch," he cursed. James was the bane of their college was a junior, a sophomore last year when they first came. Bella, being the literature major, joined the lit club, of which he was president at the time. She also started an annual fundraiser for literacy in foreign countries. He had asked her out multiple times and she had turned him down, and he'd also had to fight with james on more than one occasion too. Just last winter, they were flying home for Christmas break, and Bella had gone to buy herself a drink while they waited at the gate. Next thing he knew, James was there too, and he had grabbed her ass. When he confronted James, he simply laughed and said a crude remark before proceeding to ouch her butt again. Bella was almost in tears at the harrassment, and Edward had enough and punched him in the face. Security got involved and they had all had to rebook their flights.

He'd also tried to palm up Bella's boobs during the Valentines Day Dance. She'd decked im all on her own that time. _That's my girl._

"I think he's stalking me Edward. He really freaks me out." he snapped back to the present as she sighed in frustration. "He came up to me yesterday all smug the way he always is. Wanna know what he told me?"

Edward waited, too angry to talk.

"He said he would 'do whatever it took to have me'... creep. Ugh! I don't believe him! And to think that he helped me with my foreign lit project just to get with me! Ugh im so glad i'm the lit club president this year. He's so getting the boot."

Edward laughed, then he wrapped his arms around her. "Baby, you are my everything, the air I breathe, the blood in my veins... I wouldn't let him hurt you. You're the sole reason for everythingi do. I refuse to be without you. I have something for you., by the way..." he reached for her wrist and took the charm bracelet there.

"What are you doing?"

"Jake bought you this for Christmas right?"

"Well yes but he made the charm." she grinned as he fingered the tiny wooden wolf that hung from the gold chain.

"I didnt make this though... it's from Elizabeth. It's an heirloom, and she says that it's been something that has been passed though literally centuries of her family. She says to give it to the person I want to be with forever..." with that he added the charm to her bracelet. She stared in amazement. Then he clasped it back round her wrist. "I know you don't like flashy things... but it means a lot to me for you to have this." he grabbed her hand again, removing the the promise ring he'd given her the day she walked the first time and slipping it onto her left ring finger as tears filled her eyes. He kissed it reverently. "You told me that you wanted to be able to walk down the aisle on your own, two weeks before I gave you this, remember? Would it be absolutely terrible if I was at the other end waiting for you?"

"No," she sniffed, "It would be acsolutely perfect."

He smiled up at her, even though he had her hand still pressed to his lips.

She sniffed and nodded again, grinning so bad her face hurt.

He traded her hand for her lips, kissing her hungrily and earning several applause from a crowd they didnt realize they had attracted.

In that crowd, blazing with anger and determination, was James.

**To be continued...**


	19. disclaimer, announcements, and teasers

**Disclaimers:**

**I do not own twilight or it's characters, main & tail © hair products or lipsmacker © and am not making any profit from their use in this story. **

**Credits and Shout-outs:**

**thanks to all my reviewers and all the patience you all have had with me lol. Special thanks to Angel4057 and FRK921, reneesmay, Hannah (glad you think im a genius lol) rpattz granny, and crazyvampiregurl for ur reviews.**

**Announcements:**

**basically just look out for my other stories, _piano man_ and_ if I were you_ and be on the look out for the sequel,_ the breakdown_, also dubbed after a song by alexz johnson (I really love her music in bother the show and otherwise... her album is coming out soon yall should check out her website. Www (dot) alexzonline (dot) com. She has clips of her music there. My favorites are 'Golden' and 'trip around the world')**

**Teasers:**

_It's the day I married the love of my life. It is also the tenth anniversary of my brother's death._

"_Bella, what is going on with you and Jacob. I thought he was with Leah. And I thought you loved me."_

"_Why are you doing this?!"_

"_I'm sorry James... I have to go."_

"_Bella, please don't..."_

"_What the hell did you do with Edward?!"_

"_He is my son. I will keep him at all costs."_

"_She lost the baby..."_

"_Edward, Bella, you have to come home. Carlisle... he was attacked. They don't think he will make it."_

_He heard a gun click and suddenly it was hard to breathe. "Do what I tell you or the slut that you call your mother gets it."_

**all this and more in this novel's sequel, _The Breakdown_. Stay tuned...**


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